Augustus Waters The Unsent Letters
by ImHitGirl
Summary: A few months after Gus passes away, Hazel finds unsent letters addressed to her on his computer.
1. Chapter 1

My dearest Hazel Grace,

Three days ago, you were admitted into the ICU. They said you had been admitted for an extreme headache caused by poor oxygenation caused by your lungs having a liter and a half fluid in them. When I heard this, it felt like I was struck by lightning. My mom was the one who told me. I collapsed onto my bed and just cried. I wasn't sure I'd ever get to see you again. So I did what any logical person would do: I snuck into your hospital room while you were asleep. I sat on the chair beside your head and held your hand. I even laid in your bed with you for a bit just holding you to me. I'm surprised my relentless sobbing didn't wake you. Let's just say if Max Mayhem had been there to see me, he would have slapped me clear across the room. But I didn't care what anyone thought of me crying. I couldn't control my thoughts from thinking what if I lost you, Hazel Grace. I really don't know what I would do. Now that I have you in my life, I never want to experience life without you. Where am I right now, you may wonder? I'm actually sitting beside you. You're asleep still. The nurse said you could go home in a few days. I'll be with you to help you as long as you want me.

Okay. I love you, Hazel Grace. Forever.

Augustus Waters


	2. Chapter 2

My amazing Hazel Grace,

There's something I need to get off my chest. I don't know when I'll give you this letter, but I need to say it. Okay, type it. About a week and a half ago, I started feeling a pain in my left hip. I didn't think it was anything to worry about, but I decided to have it checked anyway. I'm glad I did, too. I got a PET scan... my whole body lit up. The osteosarcoma is back and in full force. Was I scared to see this? Hell yeah. It scared the living shit out of me. However, I held myself together. I realized, like you said, we are all side effects of this life. Nobody knows how much longer I'll be here in this world. They said there's a chance, a slim chance, but a chance nonetheless, that it will disappear again and I'll go back into remission. Osteosarcoma is highly treatable, but with mine being in the advance stage, the doctor said if they were to treat it, it might still not work. If it did, it would take so much of my energy, not to mention more limbs, possibly all of the rest, that he doesn't want to risk it yet. I'm on a medication and they're seeing if it helps the cancer fade away. I'll fight it as long as I possibly can. For you, okay? Just know, Hazel Grace, I'm scared. I don't want to leave this world yet. I finally found something, someone to live for. I can't type anymore. I'm still in your hospital room sitting beside you. All I want to do is lay with you... And that's what I'm about to do.

Okay. I love you, Hazel Grace. Forever.

Augustus Waters


	3. Chapter 3

My sweet Hazel Grace,

I don't know what to do anymore. I'm so scared this cancer might claim me soon. When I got home from the hospital after the G tube incident, I didn't know what to do. I'm so sorry I called you so early that day. All I was trying to do was buy myself a goddamn pack of cigarettes. I can't even do that anymore. The only thing keeping me sane is you. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I'm so sorry I put you through that mess. I hate the fact that you had to see me like that: covered in vomit, smelling like shit, infected G tube. I don't want to put you through that ever again. I can't stand it. I hate myself for that.

Okay. I love you, Hazel Grace. Forever.

Augustus Waters

P.S.

I forgive you for calling the ambulance. I know now that my resistance was futile and if you hadn't been there... I would no longer be here.


	4. Chapter 4

My love Hazel Grace,

Thank you. You are the most important person in my life and if it weren't for you, I really wouldn't still be here. Right now, I'm so fucking scared that I don't have many days left. I can hardly type, my hands are shaking. I want you here with me. When I finish typing this note, I'm calling you. I'm sorry I'm putting you through all this. I just keep hoping that when my time finally comes, I want it to be peaceful. I want to be holding you in my arms in my bed sleeping and just slip peacefully into sleep forever. I'm trying to tell myself I'll be alright, but that gets harder to believe each day. Hazel Grace, I love you with all my heart. I always will, too. Anytime you feel scared, upset, lonely, pissed off, whatever you may feel, always remember, no matter where I am, I'll never stop loving you, my dear.

Okay. I love you, Hazel Grace. Forever.

Augustus Waters


	5. Chapter 5

*voicemail. Broken up unevenly to catch his breath each time*

My beautiful Hazel Grace. I wanted to leave you one last voicemail. To keep and listen to. Whenever you please. It's getting harder to breath. I think this might be it. I can't tell you how much. I love you. You just pulled into the driveway. I hear you talking. Remember. You saved me. You loved me when. I thought no one else could. You showed me you loved me. In Amsterdam. The hotel room. I'll never forget that. Beautiful. Perfect. Everything I imagined. Tonight. I'll hold you close. For the last time. Please my love. Don't ever forget me. Okay? I love you Hazel Grace. I'll see you soon.


End file.
